This week on Psycho says, we learn how to host a LAN party, what to do at someone else’s LAN party, and how to find LAN parties near you.
LAN parties are get-togethers where like minded individuals come together to watch movies, talk to friends, spread rumors about people who didn’t attend, summon the devil, play tabletop role-playing games, discuss zombie apocalypse survival techniques, eat poor quality pizza, and only occasionally play video games.
Some general tips before I get into the meat: When either going to a party, or hosting, know what platforms will be played before hand. LAN parties usually cater to the PC gamer, but consoles are often brought in as well by attendees. People will bring their laptops, no doubt about that, but some will also bring their desktops, which is why you need some bare essentials that seem obvious in retrospect, but the lack of these will come back to bite you if you aren’t prepared.
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Chairs and Table Space
This seems silly, but I cannot emphasize enough how important this is. Your guests will want to sit down, and they will ALL want to sit down, and so will you. This requires an actual chair for everyone. Couches don’t work if they are going to be playing on their computers. Table space is also very important as people who bring their desktops will need it, and any gamer worth their weight in RAM will have an external mouse with their laptop.
Clear off the dining room table, bring in all the tv stands, “borrow” a table from the local church’s gymnasium. People won’t care what surface their playing on as long as it’s elevated and flat.
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Power Strips
Think of how many power outlets you have in your most open space, maybe four or six at the maximum if you’re lucky, less if you aren’t. Everyone is going to need to plug things in, and some will need to plug many things in. For each person that will be attending, assume that they will need power for two or three things at once. Spread the strips out and use multiple outlets, if you can’t reach an area with a strip, use an extension cable. Don’t bring the plugs to the strip, bring the strip to the plugs.
SAFETY NOTICE: Don’t daisy chain strips, you’ll burn your house down.
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Internet
What’s a LAN party without online games? A terrible party is what it is. Don’t hold terrible parties. If you have wi-fi, write down the password and make it known to your guests.
If you have wired internet, make sure you have enough jacks for everyone. That means one per person, so while wi-fi is a lot easier, wired is faster in connections. The tangle of cables and lack of outlets for internet can be solved with…
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Connecting modems
If you don’t have enough jacks for everyone, link everyone into a Local Area Network with a modem. Also, now you know why LAN parties are called LAN parties. Learning!
For this to be done, make sure you have extra Ethernet cable lying about. It’s better if you have it already jacked and Cat. 6, but that isn’t necessary. If you have jacks lying about, someone in your party will know how to wire them, so no need to worry. If all else fails, “borrow” some of your own cable from around the house.
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Have a Plan!
The best thing about a LAN party is spending time with your friends, but sometimes that doesn’t work out. If everyone in the party is a follower, you’re just going to end up with a five hour long deferring argument about what to do, and you’ll never get around to actually doing anything at all.
Don’t stick to the plan if the guests feel like deviating, but have something in your mind as a back-up if no one knows what to do. This involves preplanning and prepping the guests beforehand. Pay special attention that everyone has the games you are going to play and knows where your house is. On that note,
HAVE DIRECTIONS TO YOUR HOUSE READY.
People will get lost, they will then call you and want to know how to get to your house, or wherever you are hosting the event. This is important. This is really important. Be sure to also tell them where to park.
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Food
Pizza is good, as you don’t have to prepare it and everyone can chip in. Have snacks, usually fattening, chips, dip, avoid anything that requires more than two minutes of prep work. Have a lot of drinks. Most of the people that will attend your party will want soft drinks and sugary stuff, but some odd people will want water or healthy stuff. Thankfully they will probably bring this with them, and hopefully have enough to share.
I personally wouldn’t allow alcohol as that would quickly lead to it being a regular party rather than a LAN party, but it is your personal decision. I would advise against it anyway.
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Your Guest List will Vary
People will come and go. People won’t show up. People will bring uninvited guests. People will materialize from the Aether just to go to your party, then disappear forever from the realms of mortal understanding to a world that was never meant to exist.
People will leave early, accept it now. People will come late, some very late. Some will arrive five hours in to a six hour party and spend the last hour setting up their custom desktop with 52″ monitor that takes up the entire table and has six hundred fans and a keyboard the size of a small surfboard, and a mouse with more buttons on than is physically possible to map, and a mouse pad which cools and relaxes the gaming hand as they furiously apm spam that mineral line, and a tower that has so many aftermarket add-ons that it should not be able to physically exist in this world as it is powered by a four sided triangle surrounded by a circle who’s circumference divided by its diameter is exactly 3, and then they complain that everyone is leaving.
Just deal with it.
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What to Bring to a Party
Bring your own computer, mouse, mousepad, power cable, Cat. 6 cable, and anything else you would need. Bring your own entertainment if you want specific things. Bring some drinks, and be courteous. You’re in someone else’s house, eating their food, and using their power. Be nice, and clean up your own spills!
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Where to Find a Party
Your friends are your best resources. You can also ask about them in local card shops or computer stores, or gaming clubs, but you probably won’t find much of anything. Check your local geographical reddit, it’s a great way to meet new people.
If all else fails, invite some friends over and make one yourself!
Terribad of the Week:
Turbine goes back on all it previously said and starts selling equipment in their cash shop. Thankfully it is both cheap, and low level. However, I would like to just say to Turbine: 1 month deletion period of mail is sort of acceptable. Unless said mail had a very valuable item attached to it, or perhaps a large sum of platinum. I’m talking about YOU Dungeons and Dragons Online. My Wizard found a 300kpp girdle, and I sold it on the auction house, but forgot about it, and now I will never know what happened to it because I wasn’t active enough for you. I bite my thumb at you Turbine!
Nyeh!
Did I leave something out? Insult your mother? Spelling or grammar mistake? Leave a note in the comments below, or contact me thru one of the following means:
Email: victorharms@gmail.com knows that file sharing happens at these parties.
twitter: @gigathrash (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) also knows that that sort of thing is illegal.
Steam: Gigathrash doesn’t need to hear about it.
Facebook: Victor Felton does what he wants cause a pirate is free!
